1 00:00:29,343 --> 00:00:30,571 Good evening. 2 00:00:30,644 --> 00:00:32,669 I understand it is fashionable 3 00:00:32,746 --> 00:00:35,681 to introduce television plays from a library. 4 00:00:36,083 --> 00:00:39,109 And so, I thought I would preface tonight's play, 5 00:00:39,386 --> 00:00:42,355 "The Cream of the Jest," in this way. 6 00:00:43,357 --> 00:00:45,188 The Cream of the Jest 7 00:00:45,258 --> 00:00:48,056 is a play about the theatrical business. 8 00:00:52,132 --> 00:00:55,829 And it has as its central character 9 00:00:55,902 --> 00:01:00,236 a fading actor named Charles Hanover Gresham. 10 00:01:00,974 --> 00:01:02,532 Our play will... 11 00:01:04,644 --> 00:01:06,771 Our play begins in just one moment. 12 00:01:24,498 --> 00:01:25,795 Thank you. 13 00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:27,894 Hello, Jerry. 14 00:01:27,968 --> 00:01:29,458 How fresh and dewy you look! 15 00:01:29,536 --> 00:01:31,561 Hello there, Mr. Gresham. How are you today? 16 00:01:31,638 --> 00:01:33,230 Splendid, Jerry, splendid. 17 00:01:33,306 --> 00:01:36,298 I'll be even more so when I've partaken of that amber fluid. 18 00:01:36,376 --> 00:01:37,775 The usual on the rocks, please. 19 00:01:37,844 --> 00:01:40,506 Gee, Mr. Gresham, I'd like to, but I'm afraid I can't. 20 00:01:40,580 --> 00:01:42,707 Now, you're not gonna tell me the well has run dry? 21 00:01:42,783 --> 00:01:46,219 Well, in a manner of speaking, it has. For you. 22 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,188 You see, your tab has run awfully high and... 23 00:01:49,423 --> 00:01:52,256 Well, Mr. Orsatti, he'd like to carry you, 24 00:01:52,726 --> 00:01:54,455 but it's been going on such a long time. 25 00:01:54,528 --> 00:01:56,291 Yes, of course. I understand. 26 00:01:56,363 --> 00:02:00,060 But do you think I could impose on his generosity 27 00:02:00,667 --> 00:02:01,895 just once more? 28 00:02:01,968 --> 00:02:04,095 You see, Jerry, I wasn't speaking the truth just now. 29 00:02:04,171 --> 00:02:07,834 I actually feel rather shaky today. I didn't get that part. 30 00:02:07,908 --> 00:02:09,705 And you know how it is with actors. 31 00:02:09,943 --> 00:02:11,501 And I'm sure to get something. 32 00:02:11,711 --> 00:02:14,305 And when I do, I'll give a big party right here 33 00:02:14,381 --> 00:02:15,712 to make up for all I owe. 34 00:02:15,782 --> 00:02:18,114 That'd be fine, Mr. Gresham. I'd like to see that. 35 00:02:18,185 --> 00:02:19,743 Yeah. So would I. 36 00:02:20,987 --> 00:02:22,511 So would I. 37 00:02:22,989 --> 00:02:24,047 Jerry? 38 00:02:26,393 --> 00:02:28,691 Could you let me have just one? 39 00:02:28,862 --> 00:02:30,454 I'd be very grateful. 40 00:02:30,597 --> 00:02:31,928 I'm sorry. 41 00:02:32,766 --> 00:02:34,791 Well, how about a glass of water? 42 00:02:35,302 --> 00:02:37,964 I've a little time on my hands and I might... 43 00:02:38,038 --> 00:02:40,097 Just might run into somebody I know. 44 00:02:40,173 --> 00:02:41,572 Sure thing, Mr. Gresham. 45 00:02:42,342 --> 00:02:43,707 One glass of water, 46 00:02:45,579 --> 00:02:47,012 on the rocks. 47 00:02:57,157 --> 00:02:59,421 Say, what do you know? 48 00:03:00,327 --> 00:03:02,488 Wayne Campbell has a new play. 49 00:03:05,298 --> 00:03:06,856 Wayne Campbell. 50 00:03:08,235 --> 00:03:11,204 But Mr. Barsky, the sets have to be ready on the 25th. 51 00:03:11,271 --> 00:03:14,638 Mr. Campbell can hardly open in New Haven without them. 52 00:03:15,041 --> 00:03:16,565 Yes, that's right. 53 00:03:16,910 --> 00:03:18,207 All right. Bye. 54 00:03:18,578 --> 00:03:20,569 Mr. Gresham. How nice to see you. 55 00:03:20,647 --> 00:03:21,739 Nice to see you. 56 00:03:21,815 --> 00:03:24,181 It seems I was talking to you on the phone just a minute ago. 57 00:03:24,251 --> 00:03:25,309 You must have flown over here. 58 00:03:25,385 --> 00:03:26,716 Merely my anxiety to see you. 59 00:03:26,786 --> 00:03:28,549 Besides, I was just around the corner. 60 00:03:32,092 --> 00:03:34,856 Is Wayne... Will he see me? 61 00:03:35,095 --> 00:03:36,619 Oh, please sit down, Mr. Gresham. 62 00:03:36,696 --> 00:03:38,891 He's been on the phone ever since you called. 63 00:03:38,965 --> 00:03:41,331 But as soon as he's free, I'm sure he'll be delighted to see you. 64 00:03:41,401 --> 00:03:43,164 Well, I'm counting on that. 65 00:03:43,236 --> 00:03:45,261 But after what happened on The Brass Penny... 66 00:03:45,338 --> 00:03:48,830 Oh, I'm sure Mr. Campbell forgot all about that a long time ago. 67 00:03:48,909 --> 00:03:50,035 Besides, you were ill. 68 00:03:50,110 --> 00:03:52,203 You couldn't possibly have made that performance. 69 00:03:52,279 --> 00:03:54,179 Nice of you to put it that way. 70 00:03:54,247 --> 00:03:55,475 It isn't everybody who understands 71 00:03:55,549 --> 00:03:57,779 that even for the actor, the show cannot always go on. 72 00:03:57,851 --> 00:04:00,046 Well, you look just wonderful now. 73 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,850 Can I get you something, some coffee or a drink? 74 00:04:04,124 --> 00:04:05,352 No, thank you. 75 00:04:05,425 --> 00:04:08,155 Well, just sit down. You won't have long to wait. 76 00:04:08,228 --> 00:04:09,855 He's off the phone now. 77 00:04:13,633 --> 00:04:14,998 Lee, 78 00:04:15,068 --> 00:04:17,628 these third act changes will have to wait until tomorrow morning. 79 00:04:17,704 --> 00:04:20,298 And I'm 15 minutes late for that cocktail party already. 80 00:04:20,373 --> 00:04:21,931 But... Huh? 81 00:04:23,643 --> 00:04:25,543 Oh, you! 82 00:04:26,246 --> 00:04:29,147 Good afternoon, Wayne. You're looking very sleek. 83 00:04:29,683 --> 00:04:33,210 Yeah, and you're looking fairly sober for a change. What's on your mind? 84 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,745 I'd like to speak to you for a moment in private. 85 00:04:35,822 --> 00:04:37,289 I haven't the time now. 86 00:04:37,357 --> 00:04:39,257 Good night, Lee. I'll see you first thing in the morning. 87 00:04:39,326 --> 00:04:41,419 Wayne, let the cocktail party wait. I must talk to you. 88 00:04:41,494 --> 00:04:44,258 Mr. Campbell, I'm sure it'll only take a moment. 89 00:04:46,433 --> 00:04:48,492 All right. Five minutes, no more. 90 00:04:48,568 --> 00:04:49,967 It's very kind of you. 91 00:04:50,036 --> 00:04:51,196 Come on. 92 00:04:56,876 --> 00:04:58,138 Well, get to the point. 93 00:04:58,211 --> 00:05:00,145 I want a part in your new play, Wayne. 94 00:05:00,780 --> 00:05:01,838 You must be kidding. 95 00:05:01,915 --> 00:05:03,542 It's gonna be a great success. I'm sure of it. 96 00:05:03,617 --> 00:05:05,482 And I need the job badly. 97 00:05:05,552 --> 00:05:07,110 That's what you said the last time, 98 00:05:07,187 --> 00:05:09,018 and the time before that. 99 00:05:09,089 --> 00:05:10,317 That's why I hired you, 100 00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:12,688 because you needed the job so badly. 101 00:05:13,059 --> 00:05:14,253 I always gave a performance. 102 00:05:14,327 --> 00:05:17,194 You were all right when you remembered your lines, 103 00:05:17,263 --> 00:05:20,357 and didn't forget to show up in time for curtain. But... 104 00:05:21,401 --> 00:05:25,064 Charles, I wouldn't touch you again with a 10-foot pole. 105 00:05:25,138 --> 00:05:26,901 You're a drunk. Let's face it. 106 00:05:26,973 --> 00:05:29,271 That isn't true. Not when I'm working, anyway. 107 00:05:29,342 --> 00:05:31,276 It's just that I don't feel well sometimes. 108 00:05:31,344 --> 00:05:33,574 I get nervous, and then I forget things. 109 00:05:33,647 --> 00:05:35,979 But I won't let you down this time, I promise. 110 00:05:36,082 --> 00:05:38,482 I'm sorry, Charlie. No dice. 111 00:05:39,285 --> 00:05:40,843 I gotta go. My wife's waiting for me. 112 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,615 Now, Wayne, listen to me. 113 00:05:42,689 --> 00:05:45,317 I'll take anything, even a walk-on. 114 00:05:45,625 --> 00:05:47,320 It isn't just that I need the money. 115 00:05:47,394 --> 00:05:50,488 I've got to get back on a stage again. Don't you understand that? 116 00:05:50,563 --> 00:05:52,963 I'm dead when I'm not doing a job of acting. 117 00:05:57,570 --> 00:05:58,764 You know, 118 00:05:59,939 --> 00:06:02,066 sometimes when I'm in my room, I... 119 00:06:02,442 --> 00:06:05,002 I go to the mirror, and I... 120 00:06:05,478 --> 00:06:08,970 I look into it, trying to see who I am, who the "me" is. 121 00:06:09,182 --> 00:06:10,809 I talk to myself. 122 00:06:11,451 --> 00:06:14,284 And all the characters I've ever played pass in front of me. 123 00:06:14,354 --> 00:06:16,549 And I'm every one of them, but that's all I am. 124 00:06:16,623 --> 00:06:18,921 There's no real me, only the characters. 125 00:06:19,092 --> 00:06:20,354 Don't you see? 126 00:06:21,695 --> 00:06:22,753 Then I... 127 00:06:23,029 --> 00:06:26,658 Then I go back and I sit and I wait. 128 00:06:28,435 --> 00:06:31,598 I wait for somebody, somebody like you, Wayne, 129 00:06:31,671 --> 00:06:34,071 to call me, to bring me back to life again. 130 00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:36,233 I'm only real when I'm acting. 131 00:06:36,309 --> 00:06:37,901 The rest of the time I'm nothing. 132 00:06:38,011 --> 00:06:40,172 That's why I drink. Don't you see? 133 00:06:42,816 --> 00:06:45,284 You sound a little schizy to me, boy. 134 00:06:45,618 --> 00:06:48,246 I think what you need is to see a psychiatrist. 135 00:06:49,789 --> 00:06:51,586 Is that all you have to suggest? 136 00:06:51,658 --> 00:06:52,784 That's all. 137 00:06:52,859 --> 00:06:55,293 Look, I... I've really got to run now, fella. 138 00:06:55,361 --> 00:06:56,988 I'll see you around, huh? 139 00:06:58,098 --> 00:06:59,360 I wouldn't go yet. 140 00:07:00,667 --> 00:07:02,032 Not quite yet. 141 00:07:02,969 --> 00:07:04,698 Oh? Now what? 142 00:07:06,005 --> 00:07:07,836 I suddenly feel reminiscent. 143 00:07:08,374 --> 00:07:10,774 We've known each other a long time, Wayne. 144 00:07:10,844 --> 00:07:12,573 Even though you're a lot younger than I am. 145 00:07:12,645 --> 00:07:15,011 We even came from the same part of Philadelphia together. 146 00:07:15,081 --> 00:07:17,276 The tough part, wasn't it, Wayne? Yeah. 147 00:07:17,350 --> 00:07:19,409 And of course, we changed our names long ago, 148 00:07:19,486 --> 00:07:21,386 made up much more suitable stories about our background. 149 00:07:21,454 --> 00:07:23,445 We had to, we were ambitious. 150 00:07:23,757 --> 00:07:25,019 Now, you, 151 00:07:25,425 --> 00:07:28,758 you're from a well-to-do family from somewhere out west. 152 00:07:28,828 --> 00:07:30,352 Isn't that the story? 153 00:07:31,431 --> 00:07:32,625 And I, 154 00:07:33,399 --> 00:07:36,232 I'm the fourth son of an impoverished English earl. 155 00:07:36,302 --> 00:07:38,600 Not that anyone ever believed that one. 156 00:07:38,905 --> 00:07:41,066 Of course, you've done so much better than I have. 157 00:07:41,141 --> 00:07:43,200 I like your plays, Wayne. Yeah. 158 00:07:43,276 --> 00:07:46,109 Hard-punching, bitter and honest. 159 00:07:46,646 --> 00:07:48,011 Most of the time. 160 00:07:48,081 --> 00:07:50,015 You've become a rich man because of them. 161 00:07:50,083 --> 00:07:53,177 You even married into one of the first 50 families of America. 162 00:07:53,253 --> 00:07:55,278 You've really hit the top, Wayne. 163 00:07:56,289 --> 00:07:58,621 Look, I can read all that in Who's Who. 164 00:07:58,691 --> 00:07:59,988 Now, come on. Get out of here. Go on. 165 00:08:00,059 --> 00:08:03,620 Look, I know how hard it would be for you to lose all that, 166 00:08:03,863 --> 00:08:06,388 much harder than for me, because I never had it. 167 00:08:07,267 --> 00:08:08,632 Why would I lose it? 168 00:08:08,701 --> 00:08:10,532 Oh, well, you don't have to. 169 00:08:10,770 --> 00:08:12,795 But, you see, I'm getting on in years. 170 00:08:12,872 --> 00:08:15,033 Not that I'll admit to a day over 50. 171 00:08:15,408 --> 00:08:19,208 I need a little security, and the parts are getting fewer and fewer. 172 00:08:19,546 --> 00:08:20,740 And so... 173 00:08:21,014 --> 00:08:23,710 Well, if you're not gonna hire me for this new play of yours, 174 00:08:23,783 --> 00:08:25,717 I'm afraid you're going to have to take care of me 175 00:08:25,785 --> 00:08:27,377 in some other fashion. 176 00:08:27,887 --> 00:08:31,550 You're not only a drunk, you're also a cheap panhandler. 177 00:08:31,624 --> 00:08:33,922 Trying to con me out of a few bucks, huh? 178 00:08:33,993 --> 00:08:35,585 Not a few bucks, Wayne. 179 00:08:36,129 --> 00:08:37,391 An annuity. 180 00:08:37,964 --> 00:08:41,297 Well, just a small one, of course, just to keep body and soul together. 181 00:08:41,401 --> 00:08:43,392 Otherwise, I'm afraid I'm going to be forced 182 00:08:43,469 --> 00:08:46,495 to tell some of our more talkative columnists 183 00:08:46,573 --> 00:08:49,064 about that little incident in Philadelphia. 184 00:08:49,209 --> 00:08:50,301 Do you remember? 185 00:08:50,376 --> 00:08:52,970 When $5,000 was missing from the bank 186 00:08:53,046 --> 00:08:55,276 and traced to a certain young teller? 187 00:08:56,249 --> 00:08:58,342 Look, I had a chance to make a quick profit. 188 00:08:58,418 --> 00:08:59,715 I was gonna put that money back. 189 00:08:59,786 --> 00:09:01,413 Just the same, they called it embezzlement. 190 00:09:01,487 --> 00:09:03,546 And you spent three years in prison. 191 00:09:03,623 --> 00:09:06,183 I don't think you'd like that to get out. 192 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,188 Blackmail! 193 00:09:08,828 --> 00:09:10,056 Exactly. 194 00:09:11,064 --> 00:09:13,862 Why, you cheap, no-good... 195 00:09:18,905 --> 00:09:19,997 Hello! 196 00:09:21,074 --> 00:09:22,769 Hello, hello, Patricia, honey. 197 00:09:23,643 --> 00:09:27,238 Yes, I know I'm late. I'm leaving right away. 198 00:09:27,580 --> 00:09:28,638 Bye. 199 00:09:29,649 --> 00:09:32,379 You mustn't keep your wife waiting any longer, Wayne. 200 00:09:32,452 --> 00:09:34,181 She's such a lovely girl. 201 00:09:44,564 --> 00:09:45,895 Here. 202 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,563 Here's 20 bucks for you. 203 00:10:13,092 --> 00:10:14,525 Jerry? 204 00:10:16,329 --> 00:10:17,887 Do you know what I wish? 205 00:10:17,964 --> 00:10:19,864 I wish you were Shakespeare. 206 00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:22,895 I wish you were just writing Macbeth. 207 00:10:22,969 --> 00:10:24,869 Beautiful thing, Macbeth. 208 00:10:25,471 --> 00:10:26,460 Listen. 209 00:10:27,774 --> 00:10:30,140 "To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow 210 00:10:31,177 --> 00:10:35,238 "Creeps in this petty pace from day to day 211 00:10:35,315 --> 00:10:36,748 "to the last 212 00:10:39,085 --> 00:10:41,417 "syllable of recorded time 213 00:10:42,021 --> 00:10:45,218 "And all our yesterdays have lighted fools 214 00:10:45,959 --> 00:10:48,587 "the way to dusty death 215 00:10:49,896 --> 00:10:54,026 "Out, out, brief candle! 216 00:10:54,801 --> 00:10:57,031 "Life's but a walking shadow, 217 00:10:57,603 --> 00:10:58,900 "a poor player 218 00:10:59,572 --> 00:11:02,735 "That struts and frets his hour upon the stage 219 00:11:03,676 --> 00:11:05,576 "And then is heard no more 220 00:11:06,245 --> 00:11:08,145 "It is a tale told by an idiot 221 00:11:08,514 --> 00:11:12,006 "full of sound and fury, signifying nothing" 222 00:11:15,121 --> 00:11:17,282 Hmm? Oh. 223 00:11:18,124 --> 00:11:20,183 Oh, I'm sorry, Jerry. 224 00:11:20,927 --> 00:11:22,690 I got carried away a little. 225 00:11:22,762 --> 00:11:24,753 Beautiful stuff, though. 226 00:11:24,831 --> 00:11:26,025 Mmm. 227 00:11:26,232 --> 00:11:28,223 Nobody writes like that anymore. 228 00:11:29,068 --> 00:11:30,433 You know, Jerry, 229 00:11:30,503 --> 00:11:34,030 that's what's the matter with these modern playwrights. 230 00:11:35,174 --> 00:11:39,235 Most of the time, they're full of sound and fury, 231 00:11:39,312 --> 00:11:41,780 signifying nothing. 232 00:11:43,216 --> 00:11:46,447 It's sad, Jerry. It's very sad. 233 00:11:49,055 --> 00:11:52,320 I tell you, Jerry, they're all phonies. All of them. 234 00:11:52,392 --> 00:11:54,690 Pretending to be something they're not. 235 00:11:56,529 --> 00:12:01,296 You know, there's a certain playwright in this town... 236 00:12:02,368 --> 00:12:03,665 Oh, never mind. 237 00:12:05,038 --> 00:12:06,300 I don't know. 238 00:12:07,507 --> 00:12:08,997 Fill her up, Jerry. 239 00:12:10,276 --> 00:12:11,470 Fill her up. 240 00:12:11,544 --> 00:12:16,004 Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh. Mr. Wayne Campbell. 241 00:12:16,082 --> 00:12:17,913 Let me buy you a drink. You're entitled to one. 242 00:12:17,984 --> 00:12:19,508 No. No thanks, Charles. 243 00:12:19,585 --> 00:12:22,884 Look, don't you think you've had just about enough for tonight? 244 00:12:22,955 --> 00:12:25,981 Yeah. Why don't you save this money for your cab fare home? 245 00:12:26,059 --> 00:12:29,256 Well, that's what I'm temporarily out of. 246 00:12:29,495 --> 00:12:30,587 A home. 247 00:12:31,130 --> 00:12:34,190 You know, Jerry, that landlady of mine has no soul. 248 00:12:34,901 --> 00:12:36,163 No soul at all. 249 00:12:36,235 --> 00:12:38,430 Don't you worry, though. 250 00:12:38,805 --> 00:12:41,603 Things are looking up for me, they're really looking up. 251 00:12:41,674 --> 00:12:42,698 Right, Wayne? 252 00:12:42,775 --> 00:12:46,472 I'm the best paying customer in Orsatti's. 253 00:12:46,813 --> 00:12:50,874 And it's going to go on and on and on. 254 00:12:52,552 --> 00:12:54,611 "Shine out, fair sun, 255 00:12:54,754 --> 00:12:56,745 "till I have... " 256 00:13:02,662 --> 00:13:04,994 Mmm-hmm. Take it easy, old boy. 257 00:13:09,502 --> 00:13:11,868 You can sleep here in my office tonight, huh? 258 00:13:11,938 --> 00:13:14,372 Think we can make you comfortable enough. 259 00:13:16,109 --> 00:13:18,134 Let's get the jacket off. 260 00:13:23,616 --> 00:13:25,516 All right, down you go. 261 00:13:29,555 --> 00:13:30,817 There. 262 00:13:30,890 --> 00:13:32,016 Hmm. 263 00:13:32,825 --> 00:13:35,487 Nice fellow, Wayne. Always thought so. 264 00:13:35,561 --> 00:13:36,858 Now I know so. 265 00:13:37,230 --> 00:13:40,996 No, I'm not very nice, Charles. 266 00:13:43,202 --> 00:13:44,635 I apologize. 267 00:13:45,138 --> 00:13:46,230 It's all right. 268 00:13:46,772 --> 00:13:47,830 Think nothing of it. 269 00:13:47,907 --> 00:13:49,499 No, no, I mean it. 270 00:13:50,009 --> 00:13:52,603 The way I treated you when you came in to ask me for a job 271 00:13:52,678 --> 00:13:54,145 was unforgivable. 272 00:13:54,714 --> 00:13:58,172 I practically drove you into that blackmailing business. 273 00:14:00,887 --> 00:14:02,787 I don't know what got into me, Charlie. 274 00:14:02,855 --> 00:14:05,915 Just wanted to hit back at you, I guess. 275 00:14:06,259 --> 00:14:09,626 Do you... Do you really mean that? 276 00:14:09,896 --> 00:14:11,295 Yes, I do. 277 00:14:12,331 --> 00:14:16,495 It's been a long time since I've had to remember back to the way I began. 278 00:14:17,470 --> 00:14:20,633 I had it all neatly tucked away in the back of my mind, 279 00:14:20,706 --> 00:14:22,037 where it wouldn't bother me. 280 00:14:22,942 --> 00:14:27,208 I made a fine new world where I could be proud instead of ashamed. 281 00:14:27,980 --> 00:14:31,108 Sometimes, I think it was nine-tenths willpower 282 00:14:31,484 --> 00:14:33,475 and about one-tenth talent. 283 00:14:34,554 --> 00:14:37,546 But I got where I wanted to be. 284 00:14:40,126 --> 00:14:41,889 Right where I am now. 285 00:14:43,629 --> 00:14:45,494 You know, Charlie, there's not so much difference 286 00:14:45,565 --> 00:14:47,931 between you and me, after all. 287 00:14:48,401 --> 00:14:50,869 You see, I created a character for myself. 288 00:14:51,204 --> 00:14:53,604 All these years I've been playing a part. 289 00:14:54,373 --> 00:14:56,136 Only, in the process, 290 00:14:56,409 --> 00:14:59,674 I left out a couple of pretty important ingredients. 291 00:14:59,745 --> 00:15:01,542 Love and mercy. 292 00:15:02,548 --> 00:15:04,072 Mercy. 293 00:15:05,985 --> 00:15:08,146 You're a fine actor, Charles. 294 00:15:08,621 --> 00:15:11,556 I'd consider it an honor if you'd appear in my play. 295 00:15:12,692 --> 00:15:13,954 Hmm? 296 00:15:25,404 --> 00:15:27,565 Thank you, Wayne. 297 00:15:28,608 --> 00:15:29,870 Thank you. 298 00:15:35,014 --> 00:15:36,413 Oh! 299 00:15:46,525 --> 00:15:47,924 Good morning, Charles. 300 00:15:50,630 --> 00:15:53,064 Slept okay, I hope? Huh? 301 00:15:55,001 --> 00:15:56,195 Here. 302 00:15:58,170 --> 00:16:00,730 You'll feel better after you drink this. 303 00:16:03,943 --> 00:16:08,676 I don't exactly know what I'm doing here, but thanks. 304 00:16:08,948 --> 00:16:11,940 Ah, it's just a little service I give all my actors. 305 00:16:12,618 --> 00:16:14,210 Then you really meant it? 306 00:16:14,287 --> 00:16:15,652 Of course I did. 307 00:16:15,888 --> 00:16:18,254 I'd like it to work, Charles. I really would. 308 00:16:19,592 --> 00:16:21,924 It's funny, you don't look the part. 309 00:16:21,994 --> 00:16:24,485 You just don't look it, and it's funny. 310 00:16:24,563 --> 00:16:25,962 What's funny? 311 00:16:26,032 --> 00:16:27,932 There's such a thing as makeup. 312 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,592 And a good actor can do anything. 313 00:16:29,669 --> 00:16:33,730 Yeah, but you don't understand why it's funny, Charlie. 314 00:16:34,307 --> 00:16:35,501 You see... 315 00:16:35,775 --> 00:16:38,107 Well, there are two parts that haven't been cast yet. 316 00:16:38,177 --> 00:16:42,238 One is little more than a walk-on, three or four speeches. 317 00:16:42,782 --> 00:16:44,044 The other... 318 00:16:44,116 --> 00:16:45,242 Yes? 319 00:16:45,318 --> 00:16:47,183 The other part is a blackmailer. 320 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:49,984 Don't you think that's funny, Charlie? 321 00:16:50,056 --> 00:16:51,717 Don't be cruel, Wayne. 322 00:16:52,458 --> 00:16:54,187 You know, if you played that part, 323 00:16:54,260 --> 00:16:56,922 it would be the cream of the jest, wouldn't it? 324 00:16:57,430 --> 00:17:00,888 It'd be the first time a blackmailer ever earned his money. 325 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,997 It's a good part, too. 326 00:17:03,202 --> 00:17:07,696 It'd pay a lot more than I've been handing out to you these past few weeks, but... 327 00:17:08,274 --> 00:17:09,502 But what? 328 00:17:10,543 --> 00:17:12,738 But you just don't look the part, Charlie. 329 00:17:12,812 --> 00:17:16,213 You're too apologetic. You're too ashamed of it. 330 00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:20,211 But the blackmailer in my play is a tough, hardboiled mug. 331 00:17:20,286 --> 00:17:21,412 He has to be. 332 00:17:21,487 --> 00:17:23,785 Well, give me a chance, Wayne. 333 00:17:23,856 --> 00:17:24,948 Let me read the part. 334 00:17:25,024 --> 00:17:26,013 Oh, what's the use? 335 00:17:26,092 --> 00:17:28,754 Why don't you just settle for the smaller part, Charles? 336 00:17:29,328 --> 00:17:32,161 I'm sorry, but you're just not a heavy. 337 00:17:32,365 --> 00:17:34,026 Oh, please, let me read it! 338 00:17:36,001 --> 00:17:37,400 Well, all right. 339 00:17:38,471 --> 00:17:39,870 Blackmailer's name is Richtor. 340 00:17:39,939 --> 00:17:43,033 He runs pretty much through the whole play, 341 00:17:43,109 --> 00:17:45,577 but there's one scene I like particularly. 342 00:17:45,945 --> 00:17:48,641 Right here near the end of the first act. 343 00:17:48,948 --> 00:17:50,745 I think it's his best scene. 344 00:17:50,816 --> 00:17:54,252 Except, of course, for the end, when he gets killed onstage. 345 00:17:54,453 --> 00:17:56,921 That's pretty much an actor's dream, isn't it? 346 00:17:58,023 --> 00:17:59,388 Well... 347 00:17:59,458 --> 00:18:01,949 Let me read it to myself first, just to get the sense of it. 348 00:18:02,027 --> 00:18:03,289 All right. 349 00:18:13,606 --> 00:18:15,198 "Listen, pal. 350 00:18:15,307 --> 00:18:18,003 "You can't shove me off. I know too much. 351 00:18:18,077 --> 00:18:20,045 "Maybe I can't prove it myself, but the police can, 352 00:18:20,112 --> 00:18:22,410 "once I tell them where to look. 353 00:18:22,581 --> 00:18:24,173 "Walter Donovan. 354 00:18:24,917 --> 00:18:26,976 "Does that name mean anything to you? 355 00:18:27,052 --> 00:18:29,714 "Or the date? September 1? 356 00:18:29,989 --> 00:18:33,220 "Or the spot 100 yards off the road to Bridgeport, 357 00:18:33,292 --> 00:18:35,157 "halfway between Stanford and there? 358 00:18:35,227 --> 00:18:37,718 "Do you think you can... " That's enough! 359 00:18:39,999 --> 00:18:41,933 Charlie, that's great. 360 00:18:42,535 --> 00:18:43,968 That's just great. 361 00:18:44,804 --> 00:18:46,431 I don't know how to thank you. 362 00:18:46,505 --> 00:18:48,063 In only one way. 363 00:18:48,207 --> 00:18:49,333 Lay off the booze. 364 00:18:49,408 --> 00:18:50,807 I swear it, Wayne. Huh? 365 00:18:50,876 --> 00:18:52,935 Now that I'm working, I won't go near the stuff. 366 00:18:53,012 --> 00:18:54,843 Oh, that's fine. 367 00:18:54,914 --> 00:18:57,849 But you're not exactly a working actor yet. 368 00:18:57,917 --> 00:19:00,511 Oh, I want you for the part, I think you'd be fine. 369 00:19:00,586 --> 00:19:03,146 Only, I'm just the author. You know the setup. 370 00:19:03,222 --> 00:19:05,952 There's still the director and the producer to convince. 371 00:19:06,025 --> 00:19:07,652 Hmm. But I can play the part, I know I can. 372 00:19:07,726 --> 00:19:09,387 Whom should I see first? 373 00:19:09,595 --> 00:19:12,621 Well, Pete Wiley is just about set to direct. 374 00:19:12,698 --> 00:19:14,495 But we're still fighting over terms. 375 00:19:14,567 --> 00:19:16,899 It might look like a concession if I sent you to see him. 376 00:19:16,969 --> 00:19:18,163 But... 377 00:19:18,404 --> 00:19:19,769 Or you could go see Nick Roper, 378 00:19:19,839 --> 00:19:21,136 he's putting up most of the money. 379 00:19:21,207 --> 00:19:22,765 He'll have a say in the casting. 380 00:19:22,842 --> 00:19:24,002 Nick Roper? Mmm-hmm. 381 00:19:24,076 --> 00:19:25,168 That big-time gambler? 382 00:19:25,244 --> 00:19:28,771 And ex-racketeer, and a few other things even more unsavory. 383 00:19:29,114 --> 00:19:30,945 What's he doing backing a play? 384 00:19:31,016 --> 00:19:33,985 He decided to take a gamble on culture, I guess. 385 00:19:34,053 --> 00:19:35,179 He can afford it. 386 00:19:35,254 --> 00:19:38,690 I wouldn't say that backing one of your plays was much of a gamble. 387 00:19:38,757 --> 00:19:40,884 Still, the theatre breeds strange bedfellows. 388 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,394 I'll go round and see him if you think it'll help me get the part. 389 00:19:43,462 --> 00:19:45,225 I'm sure it will, Charles. 390 00:19:45,297 --> 00:19:47,492 Here. Here's 20 bucks. 391 00:19:47,566 --> 00:19:50,194 Get yourself a shave and a clean shirt, huh? 392 00:19:50,603 --> 00:19:52,468 Your suit looks all right, 393 00:19:52,538 --> 00:19:54,802 but maybe you ought to have it pressed. 394 00:19:55,341 --> 00:19:57,036 Then you come back here. 395 00:19:57,109 --> 00:19:59,839 I'll give you the scene and you can study it. 396 00:20:00,946 --> 00:20:02,379 But I'm warning you, 397 00:20:02,448 --> 00:20:04,973 that 20 bucks isn't just another handout. 398 00:20:05,351 --> 00:20:08,115 I'm going to see that it's deducted from your first week's salary, 399 00:20:08,187 --> 00:20:09,677 if you get the part, that is. 400 00:20:09,755 --> 00:20:11,313 Oh, don't you worry about that. I'll get the part. 401 00:20:11,390 --> 00:20:13,654 I'll have that speech memorized in no time. 402 00:20:13,726 --> 00:20:16,024 And Mr. Roper will see a real performance. 403 00:20:16,962 --> 00:20:18,623 "Speak the speech, I pray you 404 00:20:18,697 --> 00:20:22,064 "as you have pronounced it, trippingly on the tongue 405 00:20:22,134 --> 00:20:25,228 "But if you mouth it, as many of your players do 406 00:20:25,304 --> 00:20:28,296 "I would as lief the town-crier spoke me lines" 407 00:20:29,775 --> 00:20:32,175 See, I can recite that Shakespeare, too! 408 00:20:32,244 --> 00:20:34,269 Yes. We won't mention how. 409 00:20:49,962 --> 00:20:52,021 You knew that speech by heart two hours ago. 410 00:20:52,097 --> 00:20:53,724 What are you so worried about? 411 00:20:53,799 --> 00:20:55,266 I'm not sure of myself, that's the trouble. 412 00:20:55,334 --> 00:20:57,063 Just when I think I've got it, it's gone again. 413 00:20:57,136 --> 00:20:59,195 Well, don't you worry. It'll come back. 414 00:20:59,271 --> 00:21:02,240 When you get there, wait and see, it'll just pour out. 415 00:21:05,077 --> 00:21:06,669 Maybe if I had a drink, 416 00:21:07,346 --> 00:21:09,314 just one, just to strengthen... 417 00:21:12,051 --> 00:21:13,109 No. 418 00:21:13,886 --> 00:21:15,820 No, one would only lead to another. 419 00:21:16,922 --> 00:21:19,152 Here, give me that script. 420 00:21:19,458 --> 00:21:21,255 I'll type the speech out for you. 421 00:21:21,327 --> 00:21:22,521 Then you can take it with you. 422 00:21:22,595 --> 00:21:24,620 Just to be on the safe side. 423 00:21:27,533 --> 00:21:28,693 Uh-oh. 424 00:21:28,767 --> 00:21:29,791 My master's voice. 425 00:21:29,868 --> 00:21:30,926 Well, never mind. 426 00:21:31,003 --> 00:21:33,403 I can do the hunt-and-peck system. I'll pick it out myself. 427 00:21:33,472 --> 00:21:34,564 Go on. 428 00:21:52,491 --> 00:21:54,459 Wait a minute, pal. I told you, you can't go in here. 429 00:21:54,526 --> 00:21:55,788 I want to see him. I want to see him now. 430 00:21:55,861 --> 00:21:58,056 I'm sorry, Mr. Roper. I tried to stop him. 431 00:21:58,130 --> 00:22:01,566 Well, it's all right, Pete. What can I do for you, Mister... 432 00:22:03,569 --> 00:22:07,027 Doing real well for yourself these days, Mr. Roper. 433 00:22:08,507 --> 00:22:09,940 This club, 434 00:22:11,210 --> 00:22:13,269 that Broadway play you're backing. 435 00:22:14,313 --> 00:22:17,373 Takes a lot of cabbage to indulge yourself that way. 436 00:22:17,449 --> 00:22:19,110 You been checking my bank balance? 437 00:22:19,184 --> 00:22:20,913 These things get around. 438 00:22:20,986 --> 00:22:22,112 Who are you? 439 00:22:22,187 --> 00:22:25,520 Richtor's the name. Charlie Richtor. 440 00:22:26,859 --> 00:22:27,917 Richtor? 441 00:22:27,993 --> 00:22:31,326 Listen, pal, you can't shove me off. 442 00:22:31,830 --> 00:22:33,263 I know too much. 443 00:22:33,332 --> 00:22:36,165 Maybe I can't prove it myself, but the police can, 444 00:22:36,335 --> 00:22:38,030 once I tell them where to look. 445 00:22:38,871 --> 00:22:40,429 Walter Donovan. 446 00:22:41,006 --> 00:22:43,201 Does that name mean anything to you? 447 00:22:43,275 --> 00:22:45,743 And the date, September 1, 448 00:22:45,811 --> 00:22:49,303 and the spot, 100 yards off the road to Bridgeport, 449 00:22:49,381 --> 00:22:50,973 halfway between Stanford and there? 450 00:22:51,050 --> 00:22:52,381 That's enough! 451 00:22:54,620 --> 00:22:55,814 So... 452 00:22:56,855 --> 00:22:59,847 I really sold you, Mr. Roper, didn't I? 453 00:23:00,693 --> 00:23:02,957 You really believed me. 454 00:23:04,697 --> 00:23:06,289 Well, now, listen. 455 00:23:06,765 --> 00:23:09,928 Listen, I'm an actor, it's true. 456 00:23:10,369 --> 00:23:12,428 I'm actor, I mean, I mean... 457 00:23:13,338 --> 00:23:14,805 Listen... 458 00:23:17,076 --> 00:23:20,136 "To be, or not to be: that is the question 459 00:23:21,113 --> 00:23:22,512 "Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer 460 00:23:22,581 --> 00:23:24,845 "to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" 461 00:23:34,660 --> 00:23:36,355 "Soft you now! 462 00:23:37,763 --> 00:23:39,697 "The fair Ophelia! 463 00:23:41,467 --> 00:23:43,731 "Nymph, in thy orisons 464 00:23:45,604 --> 00:23:48,368 "Be all my sins remember'd" 465 00:23:52,878 --> 00:23:54,277 Is the car in front of the servants' entrance? 466 00:23:54,346 --> 00:23:55,540 Yeah, Chief. What happened? 467 00:23:55,614 --> 00:23:57,275 He knew all about the Donovan job. 468 00:23:57,449 --> 00:23:59,349 I'd like to find out where he got the details. 469 00:23:59,418 --> 00:24:00,885 Get him out of here. 470 00:24:08,961 --> 00:24:11,156 "From the office of Wayne Campbell. 471 00:24:11,296 --> 00:24:14,129 "Listen, pal, you can't shove me off. I know too much. 472 00:24:15,868 --> 00:24:17,495 "Wayne Campbell. " 473 00:24:25,978 --> 00:24:28,811 Well, there's no use taking that book home with us. 474 00:24:28,981 --> 00:24:31,142 Now that we've finished it. 475 00:24:32,618 --> 00:24:34,051 By the way, 476 00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:36,087 in case you are interested, 477 00:24:36,155 --> 00:24:39,784 the police learned of Wayne Campbell's connection with tonight's crime... 478 00:24:41,994 --> 00:24:44,462 I can't understand why this coat doesn't seem to fit. 479 00:24:44,530 --> 00:24:46,157 I just bought it. 480 00:24:49,334 --> 00:24:52,269 There seems to be a message stitched inside. 481 00:24:53,005 --> 00:24:57,169 "Occupancy by more than one person, contrary to law. " 482 00:24:57,643 --> 00:24:59,167 Well, no wonder. 483 00:24:59,244 --> 00:25:01,712 Next time, we shall return with another story. 484 00:25:01,780 --> 00:25:03,111 Join us then. 485 00:25:03,182 --> 00:25:04,342 Good night!